Starbuck's gets credit for it. The brainiacs writing
books on trends call it "Coffee Me". Its not a cup of coffee, its an
expression of
you.
I went to Starbuck's in the mall with my niece.
Reading the menu was like reading a foreign language, which it
is. It is a foreign language, Italian or something. That way you
won't feel superior.
Roxanne ordered first; "Expresso Macchiato,
Doppio, Venti, Half-Caf, Peppermint, Soy Substitute.".
I ordered; "Large, black, and strong. Just like
me."
I win. mine was $1.95, hers, about $12.00.
I'm sure mine should have cost more because it said so much
more about me than hers did her but Starbuck's evidently doesn't
cater to people like me.
Hollywood Movie Stars pay $12,000 or more for
a purse to hold walking the Red Carpet. Nancy paid big
bucks for my Halliburton Zero stainless steel, Euro-Trash, Drug
Dealer, Diamond Smuggler, looking PC man-purse. These are
expressions of us.
Larger than coffee, larger than purses, larger than
Zero, is the Notebook Computer. Yep, you
guessed it. Its an expression of you.
Judge Ito may have started it when Apple paid him to flip the logo
on his PC so it was right-side up during the O.J. trial.
Maybe it was the kids that put stickers on them. I don't know.
But now you can
get your Notebook in hundreds of personal designs. Dell offers
"Joseph Amodokpo African Deities 1", "Siobhan Gunning Viva Africa
9", "Jason Bacon Flight 4234 in Yellow" just to name a
few. These designs are an expression of
you.
Sitting in the vast glass conference room,
across from old Boss Moneybucks, wearing your blue pin-stripe "trust
me" suit, you pop open your "Death to the Capitalist Jackals"
Notebook and get to it. Its so
you.
The Traffic Cop grabs your ass, cars flash
their headlights, a shirtless man watches
you from the balcony and just then a
hot blonde chic kisses you full
on your lips. Whew! All that and Mick Jagger singing how cool
you are just for buying a Dell (Project
Red) Notebook Computer. It must be true or they couldn't show it on
TV..
Red says you care,
about Aids, in Africa, which is so noble there's no
mention whatsoever of the capabilities of the
computer. Who cares if it works. It
says you get groped by Traffic
Cops, watched by shirtless men and macked on by hot blonde
chics you've never met.
It doesn't matter if Dell used a boy or a girl in
the commercial because whatever you are it
can be you if you
just go buy the Dell Project Red
Notebook. I spoke with a coed yesterday whose roomate has
one. Thousands of soon-to-be college voices are screaming
"Mommy, I want one! Everybody else has one!"
Coffee is an expression of you.
Maybe you care more
about what kind of coffee your buying than what
junk they can put in it. You're still supporting the fight
against Aids in Africa as long as you go
to Starbuck's. Unfortunately black coffee there is the pits.
You don't have to believe me, read
the menu, its the Italians that throw all the junk in to
make it palatable.
Your Notebook is an expression of
you too. But,
you can buy a Notebook that actually
works. That might say more important things about you. Use your
Project Red American Express Card and you're still supporting the
fight against Aids in Africa.
You don't have to get a
fancy mural on your Notebook, or a stand-out color that screams
you care. Besides, there are only three
colors for Notebooks anyway; Black, Grey, and Gray.
Write a check, volunteer, join a club, adopt a
highway, sell raffle tickets, and buy
a Notebook for what it does. But that's your call, and
that's Cocktail Talk.
