From: Craig Phillips [] on behalf of Craig Phillips []

Sent: Friday, March 04, 2011 10:57 AM


Subject: Cocktail Talk - English, American, IntellAgent


Cocktail Talk

Bits and bytes of computer chat-chat
to help you through those dreary Cocktail Parties.

July 2011

Our Topic

English, American, IntellAgent


Visit & email


Cocktail Talk

Dear Craig,

Cocktail Talk
Welcome to
CN Consulting's "Cocktail Talk".

Cocktail Talk is a casual monthly newsletter intended to arm you with amusing bits and bytes of information on whats happening in the computer world.  Topics sure to break the ice and capture an audience at many a social or business event.

Cocktail Talk is archived on

English, American, IntellAgent


Shopping is not a hobby or "sport" for me. Sure, I watch American Pickers, and use eBay, that's not shopping, that's gambling. But sometimes you do have to shop.


We needed a new website/email host. The little fish Chicago company I grew to love had been eaten several monster fish ago. There were no more dinners, no Wolves games or Ravinia* outings. The Tech Support people answering my 2 a.m. calls no longer knew me, or spoke English. At least I don't think they did. 


All I wanted was a host new enough to have fast, roomy, 1st generation gear, small enough to be hungry, big enough to have deep pockets, easily accessible 24 hour support by eMail, Chat, and phone, a Top 10 ranking, a management software suite I knew and liked, with fair prices, and in Chicago.


Vendor guarantees mean nearly nothing. Try to exercise even the simplest guarantee for the most insignificant amount it's "No habla Ingles.". But guarantees may tell something about the company and seemed worth the read. What struck me about one company was it's "Real People" Guarantee. 


"We guarantee that you will be able to reach us and speak with a real human being, someone who speaks English and can answer your questions, fix your problems and help you resolve your issues."


Wow. That would be sweet. English. People complain about  outsourcing to India. These guys put it right out there. Sassy!  There's another way to avoid the language barrier in dealing with Indian Tech Support, without learning Hindi, call someone else.


You don't have to call the Tech Support 800 number associated with where you live. It's not like they're coming over. Practica tu Espanol? Call the 800 number for Barcelona's Tech Support. Spanish is not an Official Language in India, English is. Not everybody speaking English outsources either. Call England, they speak English, it's a free call. Call Australia, they speak English too.


Problem is, I have come to find I do not speak English. I speak American. My host, with a lovely Data Center in Chicago**, has it's offices in Fareham England, South Australia, and Glendale California. All speaking English, but none speaking American.


"Ollow. May I help you?" "Yes, I'd like to add some features to my package." "Features to your package you say? Have a hold will you? Sorry love." God save the Queen. Change "Ollow" to "G'Day" and that leaves California and I have no idea what they're saying, ever.


Actually, I get along just great with my new host and am learning English while they learn American. Our common language is technease and they are very knowledgeable. I'm also learning something called IntellAgent.


IntellAgent is interactive computer you chat with. In the typing sense, not the talking sense. If you want a real person, who speaks English, use the phone. IntellAgent takes what you type and using all sorts of magical computer stuff searches knowledgebases to give you it's highest rated most likely answer. If you don't get what you want just rephrase the question and try again. 


If you Google you know it's an art to get what you want sometimes. Some searches, like with knowledgebases, give you a rating of "relevance". Bing tries to weed out the low ranking results of your searches. Computers are on game shows now. Why not IntellAgent? It just does the searching for you in the most effective way programmable. IntellAgent will not get snippy with you, and, unlike humans, will get smarter and smarter right before your eyes.


Sometimes you can tell when you're chatting with IntellAgent, sometimes you can't. It's a dead giveaway when it asks for more input, data to search on. Responses like; "Your question is not clear to me. Would you restate it in greater detail?". But sometimes you just don't know if it's a live agent or not. Maybe you could ask "What are you wearing?" and see what kind of response you get. Then again, computers don't wear anything, and some smartypants programmer could have anticipated that question, and how foolish would you feel flirting with a computer. That's a little different than talking to the lawnmower when it won't start.



"What are you wearing?", or not, that's your call, and that's Cocktail Talk. 



Thank you for reading,


Craig Phillips
CN Consulting, Inc.


* The Kemper Center on Lake Michigan has concerts too. Without pants-up-to-the-armpits-suspendered-geezer-volunteers trying to shush you (me). There are children laughing and doing cartwheels instead of texting about hating their parents. It's free, so is parking, food is good, and the wine sparkles. Ravinia can't touch it.


** The Data Center is over on Polk Street, by the Chicago Fire Academy and UIC, a block away from where the Great Chicago Fire started. Three miles and two river crossings away from the Water Tower that survived the fire. It's also across the street from the Pink Monkey. FYI

It also has no door handles. If you're walking down the street and notice buildings have no door handles, get back in your car if it's still there, and go home.


CN Consulting, Inc -
Computer Consulting for Business!


CN Consulting Inc. (CNCI) is an independent consulting company formed in 1990 and located within easy reach of both Chicago and Milwaukee.

CNCI maintains a select client base providing consulting services concerning the  use  of information technology.  We persistently look for advantage to our clients in added value and reduced cost made available by advancing technology.

CNCI does not have financial interest in any given product or product line. We evaluate current and emerging technologies solely based on their benefit to our clients. CNCI implements the solutions it recommends and readily partners with companies that offer products and services to the advantage of our clients. CNCI offers complete client support with singular accountability.

We maximize the benefit of our clients' existing technology, systems, and platforms while integrating the benefits provided by new technology.

Business Continuity and Business Development are our goals with Continuity being  the foundation of  Development.


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