So the bank's newbie says; "Well Craig
(not my real name) * , how do I know that CNCI will be banking here
in a year? Or even be in business?"
So I say; "How do I know your bank will be here
in a year? When I went into business, before you were born, you
were First National Bank of Chicago, then you were National Bank of
Detroit, then Chicago NBD and finally Bank One. You'll probably be
doing business under some other name before I am."
Maybe like, um, I don't know, Chase?
So now I do business with Chase, and wonder if
newbie is still there, how he's doing, if he lived to reach
puberty. Just kidding, I really couldn't care less.
My new Small Business Specialist, Nancy (not her
real name), is the sweetest little thing, all cute and Italian, and
she hooked me up with this gizmo they offer called
"Square".
Square is a device about the size and shape of a
small ice cube that plugs into your iPhone and lets you take credit
cards. The device doesn't cost you anything, Chase doesn't go
flapping their lips telling you it's "Free". Enabling
someone to give you money is not giving them a gift, Chase seems to
get it.
You pay a flat 2.75% of what you take in no matter
how much or how little. Not like a merchant account where you pay a
different percent for different dollar amounts. No annual fee for
the privilege of giving them money, no penalties, simple
Pay-for-Play.
You even get little stickers listing which credit
cards you accept that will fit right on the back of your iPhone.
This could raise a few eyebrows if you leave your iPhone out on the
table while waiting for your friends at a night club or somewhere.
Please think before giving them to your children to put on their
lunch boxes.
Square uses an iPhone App paired with a website.
They are crisp, clean, and simple. You don't really need to use the
Square. You can accept credit cards using the keypad on the iPhone
App. But the 2.75% deal is for when you use the Square.
Sign in to your iPhone App. Plug in the Square. Tap
in the amount you're being paid. Tap in a description, or take a
picture, if you want. Swipe the card and tap the cash register
icon. Now the buyer gets to sign, or not if you enable the no-sign
under $25 feature, and get this, they can tip.
Square sends you an email for each transaction with
a running total of what will be deposited that night. It also sends
a text message or email, whichever you choose, to your buyer.
There's the website too. It has Help that's actually
helpful. No, I am not pulling your leg. You can see all your transactions,
receipts, deposits, payments, download them to a spreadsheet,
things you'd want. You can set up the $25 rule and tax rate right
in the App.
The website is also where you design what clients
will see in their receipts. Company name, description, address,
picture. Set up bank accounts, ask for another card scanner, and
then there's Card Case and Loyalty Settings.
Card Case puts you on the map. People can see where
your business is located and come spend money. Loyalty Settings let
you configure discounts for frequent-fliers and high-rollers.
So, how does an average guy, an everyday Joe like
myself, get in on the action?**
Maybe at a client I order gear online from one of my
vendors, pay using the company credit card, make a note to expense
it back, it becomes a line item the next billing cycle (maybe a
month later), and the client pays me back. Why? Why tie up money
that long on an expense?
My clients don't need credit from me. They've got
credit cards and are more than willing to pay right on the spot. I
can't use their credit card with my vendors. You have to register
with vendors, there are reseller's licenses to file, credit
applications, the whole enchilada.
Now I can satisfy the vendor by paying with my card,
then swipe a client's card using Square, and they both hit the
banks that night. Big companies pay big bucks to get their money in
their hands as fast as possible. Something called Accelerated
Close. Square let's me do that for $3 per hundred.
Are they going to be around in a year? Yes, I think
so. Square has one of Sun Microsystems' founders as CEO, a
partnership with a venture capital firm that has eBay's former CEO,
financial backing from Visa, and Chase.
The problem is, I am now one of the people that
carries a credit card machine with me. Like maybe, um, I don't
know, a Hooker? So if they round us all up, if you see me on Cops
sitting in jail with Henry Winkler, Michael Keaton, Shelly Long,
and a whole bunch of Hookers, quick come bail me out. ***
If it's just me and Shelly Long, that's your call,
and that's Cocktail Talk.
