Top Ten Time
Wasters
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 Lots of people spend, or waste, lots of time on
the internet. I spend, and waste, lots of time on the
internet.
Google "Top Ten Time Wasters" and you'll get
hundreds of ways to waste your time on the Internet. Yep, there are
hundreds in the Top 10. There are even books on where to waste your
time on the internet. Books telling you to go use the internet
instead of books strike me as funny. Anyway.
I visit a bunch
of sites daily. Security sites to find out whats attacking,
Anti-Virus sites to find out what to do about it, software sites to
see what's on the horizon and training sites to learn the new
software. Add daily research of knowledge bases and that's it for
work.
Dr. Percodan says its O.K. to have interests other than
work as long as you control them and they're "healthy". Whatever
that means. Internet is open 24 hours a day everyday, actually
travels at the speed-of-light, and is unfettered by the law. Except
for the speed-of-light part its like Tijuana in the 1960's. Internet
is not someone you'd bring home to meet your Mother. But you know
what, sometimes bad guys make the best good guys.
Case in
point;
I found a guy's wallet a couple of years ago and
wanted to return it. Problem was the wallet was lost in 1966.
Internet tracked this guy like Jason did Jamie Lee Curtis, showed
satellite images of his 1960's house, gave Social Security
verification he wasn't dead, provided college alumni listings, and
found him in Anchorage Alaska through their Swat Team. He got his
wallet back, condom included, 40 years after losing it. Nice guy,
Eric, you'd like him, never did marry that little blonde girl in the
Polaroid**, and he's got quite an internet story to tell at cocktail
parties.
Internet, like anyone else, isn't always right
though. Six months ago Wikipedia thought "Prejudice" was something
that only affected blacks. Its fixed now, Wikipedia, not prejudice.
Its written by people, and garbage-in-garbage-out (GIGO). A firm
grip on reality is in order when surfing.
Here's a case of
reality vs. Internet. My friend Ed was on the Andrea Gritti during
WWII. It was an Italian ship whose crew mutinied at gunpoint, kicked
off the German Troops they were carrying, and surrendered to our
Navy. Ed was assigned to the Andrea Gritti immediately after its
surrender. He was on it during the invasion of Normandy. Internet
says the Andrea Gritti was sunk by a German Wolf Pack long before
Normandy. Maybe the Internet got it wrong. Maybe the Italians
covered up her surrender and said she was sunk. GIGO.
Internet can give you topics of conversation for cocktail
parties too. Here's a list of places to get you started, and waste
some time. Not MyFace or porn but still NSFW (not suitable for work
while very suitable for cocktail talk (SFCT).
The Oracle of Bacon -
oracleofbacon.org (SFCT 10)
Six Degrees to Kevin Bacon. Link
actors and actresses to Tremors' Kevin Bacon in six steps or less
through feature films. Even Groucho Marx.
Gone to the Dogs - gone2thedogs.com
Using the Canine Algorithmic Transfer System (CATS) you will be
told what kind of dog you are. Features the Muttscope with talking,
sniffing, dogs and other stuff dog-people may like.
Sarcasm Society -
sarcasmsociety.com (SFCT 10)
How to be Sarcastic and How to
Recognize Irony tutorials plus lots of content and links. Seems like
required reading for anyone going to a cocktail party.
Pimp your Face -
pikipimp.com
Upload a picture of yourself, or anyone else for
that matter, to drag-and-drop accessories on it. Stuff includes
faces, bodies, hats, hairdoo's, eyes, ears, Santa hats and bikinis
to name a few.
Intoximeters - intox.com
(SFCT 0, maybe 10)
Information on intoxication and drug testing.
Has the Drink Wheel, which tells your Blood/Breath Alcohol Content
(BAC) based on sex, number and type of drinks, and elapsed time of
consumption. Could be a zero at a party, or a ten.
The Sibylline Oracles -
sacred-texts.com/cla/sib/
1899 Translation by Milton S. Terry -
Greek prophecy and history. Civilizations that inhabited the
earth and were wiped out, how angels fell from grace, and whats yet
to come. Approved as an "also read" by the Catholic
Church.
People Bucket
- pplbucket.com
A game where you throw people into various
buckets. Sometimes bouncing them off things.
The Book of Chilam Balam of
Chumayel - sacred-texts.com/nam/maya/cbc/index.htm
1933
Translation by Ralph L. Roys, Washington D.C.- Carnegie Institution
- Mayan prophecy and history. Predictions for the end of our
civilization based on the Mayan Calendar. Not approved by the
Catholic Church but you're going to hear about the end of the world
and the Mayan Calendar.
Next time you attend an event and see that interesting someone
across the room, just walk up to them and say: " Nice weather we're
having. You know, there's this website on Kevin Bacon....", maybe
pull up the Drink Wheel on your Cell, or not, that's your call, and
that's Cocktail Talk.
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Craig Phillips
CN Consulting,
Inc.
**Polaroid - replaced cave paintings prior to
written history. No, just because it was a Polaroid doesn't mean it
was a naughty picture, and stop, it was his
cousin.
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