From: Craig Phillips [] on behalf of Craig Phillips []
Sent: Wednesday, October 01, 2008 1:05 AM
Subject: Cocktail Talk
Cocktail Talk
Bits and bytes of computer chat-chat
to help you through those dreary Cocktail Parties.
October, 2008
Our Topic
Top Ten Time Wasters
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Cocktail Talk
Dear Craig,
Cocktail Talk
Welcome to
CN Consulting's "Cocktail Talk".

Cocktail Talk is a casual monthly newsletter intended to arm you with amusing bits and bytes of information on whats happening in the computer world.  Topics sure to break the ice and capture an audience at many a social or business event.

Cocktail Talk is archived at
There are buttons below to do things including unsubscribe. If you unsubscribe you will be immediately removed from our email list and may end up hanging around a soggy fruit tray sipping warm beer, alone, at your next Cocktail Party.
But that's your call, and that's Cocktail Talk.
Top Ten Time Wasters
HalloweenLots of people spend, or waste, lots of time on the internet. I spend, and waste, lots of time on the internet.

Google "Top Ten Time Wasters" and you'll get hundreds of ways to waste your time on the Internet. Yep, there are hundreds in the Top 10. There are even books on where to waste your time on the internet. Books telling you to go use the internet instead of books strike me as funny. Anyway.

I visit a bunch of sites daily. Security sites to find out whats attacking, Anti-Virus sites to find out what to do about it, software sites to see what's on the horizon and training sites to learn the new software. Add daily research of knowledge bases and that's it for work.

Dr. Percodan says its O.K. to have interests other than work as long as you control them and they're "healthy". Whatever that means. Internet is open 24 hours a day everyday, actually travels at the speed-of-light, and is unfettered by the law. Except for the speed-of-light part its like Tijuana in the 1960's. Internet is not someone you'd bring home to meet your Mother. But you know what, sometimes bad guys make the best good guys.

Case in point;

I found a guy's wallet a couple of years ago and wanted to return it. Problem was the wallet was lost in 1966. Internet tracked this guy like Jason did Jamie Lee Curtis, showed satellite images of his 1960's house, gave Social Security verification he wasn't dead, provided college alumni listings, and found him in Anchorage Alaska through their Swat Team. He got his wallet back, condom included, 40 years after losing it. Nice guy, Eric, you'd like him, never did marry that little blonde girl in the Polaroid**, and he's got quite an internet story to tell at cocktail parties.

Internet, like anyone else, isn't always right though. Six months ago Wikipedia thought "Prejudice" was something that only affected blacks. Its fixed now, Wikipedia, not prejudice. Its written by people, and garbage-in-garbage-out (GIGO). A firm grip on reality is in order when surfing.

Here's a case of reality vs. Internet. My friend Ed was on the Andrea Gritti during WWII. It was an Italian ship whose crew mutinied at gunpoint, kicked off the German Troops they were carrying, and surrendered to our Navy. Ed was assigned to the Andrea Gritti immediately after its surrender. He was on it during the invasion of Normandy. Internet says the Andrea Gritti was sunk by a German Wolf Pack long before Normandy. Maybe the Internet got it wrong. Maybe the Italians covered up her surrender and said she was sunk. GIGO.

Internet can give you topics of conversation for cocktail parties too. Here's a list of places to get you started, and waste some time. Not MyFace or porn but still NSFW (not suitable for work while very suitable for cocktail talk (SFCT).

The Oracle of Bacon - (SFCT 10)
Six Degrees to Kevin Bacon. Link actors and actresses to Tremors' Kevin Bacon in six steps or less through feature films. Even Groucho Marx.

Gone to the Dogs -
Using the Canine Algorithmic Transfer System (CATS) you will be told what kind of dog you are. Features the Muttscope with talking, sniffing, dogs and other stuff dog-people may like.

Sarcasm Society -  (SFCT 10)
How to be Sarcastic and How to Recognize Irony tutorials plus lots of content and links. Seems like required reading for anyone going to a cocktail party.

Pimp your Face -
Upload a picture of yourself, or anyone else for that matter, to drag-and-drop accessories on it. Stuff includes faces, bodies, hats, hairdoo's, eyes, ears, Santa hats and bikinis to name a few.

Intoximeters -  (SFCT 0, maybe 10)
Information on intoxication and drug testing. Has the Drink Wheel, which tells your Blood/Breath Alcohol Content (BAC) based on sex, number and type of drinks, and elapsed time of consumption. Could be a zero at a party, or a ten.

The Sibylline Oracles -
1899 Translation by Milton S. Terry - Greek prophecy and history.  Civilizations that inhabited the earth and were wiped out, how angels fell from grace, and whats yet to come. Approved as an "also read" by the Catholic Church.

People Bucket -
A game where you throw people into various buckets. Sometimes bouncing them off things.

The Book of Chilam Balam of Chumayel -
1933 Translation by Ralph L. Roys, Washington D.C.- Carnegie Institution - Mayan prophecy and history. Predictions for the end of our civilization based on the Mayan Calendar. Not approved by the Catholic Church but you're going to hear about the end of the world and the Mayan Calendar.

Next time you attend an event and see that interesting someone across the room, just walk up to them and say: " Nice weather we're having. You know, there's this website on Kevin Bacon....", maybe pull up the Drink Wheel on your Cell, or not, that's your call, and that's Cocktail Talk.

Thank you for reading,
Craig Phillips
CN Consulting, Inc.

**Polaroid - replaced cave paintings prior to written history. No, just because it was a Polaroid doesn't mean it was a naughty picture, and stop, it was his cousin.
CN Consulting, Inc -
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Serving the Chicagoland and Greater Milwaukee areas since 1990
CN Consulting is a female owned and operated company
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