Janine was singing at the Lighthouse Bistro and I went to listen and spend some time with her husband Louie. The kid sings like an Angel. Not the chubby little cupid kinds either. Nope, more like Angels you'd hear when clouds part.and blinding beams of light pour down from the heavens. But anyway.

I know a Bistro isn't exactly a Cocktail Party but Pam asked about Twitter, and we started talking, and here we go.

Twitter, according to Wikipedia, is a "free social networking and micro-blogging service......" blah-blah-blah-yakety-yak. Brother, please.

Twitter is the sound of many Tweets. A Tweet is a short message. Like: "I'm at the Bistro with Janie and Brian. Come on out.". Kind of like getting Alerts from the National Weather Service or a heads-up on something happening.

Twitter uses Short Message Service (SMS) which gives you up to 140 characters to send like Text Messaging and Pagers*. If you happened to be in the same room as my other Twitter Friends you'd all go Tweet at about the same time. Like being in a clock shop on the hour.

Twitter is just a way for people to send and recieve short messages on what they're doing. Twitter actually asks you: "What are you doing?". You type something in and off it goes.

Joining Twitter is easy, just go to www.twitter.com and join. Don't worry if you don't have any friends to Tweet you, or Tweet, you can have some for free. I'm signing up right now so I can write this article.

I chose Soulja Boy and Penn Jillette from the list of free friends. I am now one of their "Followers". They will Tweet me important things. Ashton Kutcher is the first Twitter user to reach the one million Follower mark, singer Britney Spears is in third place, I am in last

You can't reach a million people using email because of the size limits. Outlook allows 99 addresses in an email list and is going to tighten that up if they haven't already. Your email provider doesn't want to pay for you sending a million SMS messages at a time either. If they see a high volume of outbound traffic they'll block you as a Spammer. Cocktail Talk comes to you through Constant Contact. Constant Contact handles all that stuff..**

When you sign up for Twitter you're agreeing to Tweet and be Tweeted. Tit for Tat so to speak. You can then send and recieve flocks of Tweets around the clock with all your Twitter Friends. Which brings me to a point we discussed between sets at the Bistro. Who has the time?

As if email and MyFace doesn't eat up enough of your day, lets add Twitter. Twitter can send to all your friends at MyFace, Gmail, Yahoo, whatever. But, because they're SMS messages, you can just have Twitter send your Tweets to your cell phone as Text Messages. Broither, please!

My Step-Daughter sends and recieves over 6,000 Text (SMS) Messages a month without using the mass broadcast power of Twitter. I haven't seen her eyes for 6 months because they're always looking down at the phone, and holding hands is out of the question. I haven't seen it yet but I think she eats through a straw so she can still text with both hands.

The "Dad. I'm going to Lisa's after school." message is nice to get and it doesn't take much effort to click [Reply] and type "K Luv U" [Send]. Lisa's parents (if there really was a Lisa) wouldn't like the whole Twitter community knowing the two girls were home alone. Bad things can happen. Like parties, or even protests.

Barack Obama ran an "internet campaign", Twitter included, for President of the United States. Daniel Knight Hayden ran a "Twitter campaign" supporting the Tea Party protests. Barack Obama was elected President. Daniel Knight Hayden was arrested by the FBI. Brother, please.

News Flash Alert! - (I would have Twittered you but I know you're reading.) As I'm writing this I just got my first Tweet from Soulja Boy! It reads:

"A nigga just ran up on me in the mall rockin a Turn My Swag On shirt and said "Soulja Boy u far from hollywood you the realeast nigga in it"." ***

Brother, please. I think it means one of his fans praised him for being grounded and not letting the trappings of Hollywood swell his head.

Returning from a "work break" to continue this article I found 141 Tweets from Soulja Boy (One every 4 minutes since the first one.) and three from Penn Jillette.

This is from Penn Jillette;

"Going to take the children to Chuck E. Cheese for a birthday party, get my hair dyed (I'm a star) and back to doing the Rio show tonight."

This one is from Soulja Boy;

"I got the fuckin streetz on lock right now folk, Try 150 rackz a week nigga. Major moves bein made right now. Shoutout to my real niggaz."****

Having Twitter send your Tweets to your cell phone as a Text Message is easy, and it sure would be dreamy to get texts from Soulja Boy all day long, but I'm going to restrain myself. Brother, please.

Like I need to know Penn Jillette is getting a haircut and Soulja Boy is doing, whatever he's doing. I have no idea what Soulja Boy is doing, and if you know what Soulja Boy is doing someone forwarded this to you because nobody on the mailing list would know what Soulja Boy is doing.*****.

Twitter works for Britney Spears, but not Daniel Knight Hayden. Twitter may work for you, but not for me, but thats your call, and that's Cocktail Talk.