When
I visited the Apple website last April to learn about the Apple
Watch and saw the little snow white ballerina tying the silk
ribbons of her toe shoes wearing one I figured I took a wrong turn
and was looking at a fitness monitor. Maybe so.
Mrs.
Phillips (not her real name) has a Fitbit and wears it all the
time. It's a little wrist thingy that tells you how many steps
you've taken in a day. From that, using an iPhone App, you can
determine how far you've walked and in how long. A lot like Apple's
Watch.
I
do not have a Fitbit, I figure if I walk 3,500 yards in an hour and
some change I've played nine holes. Lots of old geezers do it.
Strap on 30 lbs of gear and walk up and down hills in whatever
weather Mother Nature gives you.
But
the Apple Watch is sooo much more than just a fitness monitor.
Here's what it can do.
Apple's
Watch will tell you the time, very handy for a watch, and you can
choose from cute watch faces, like Mickey Mouse, and customize them
using "the digital crown". It claims to be "an
incredibly precise timepiece". More accurate than the iPhone
which is somewhere within a minute, which is good enough unless
you're trying to catch the train to work.
Apple's
Watch will display your incoming text messages. Maybe you'd prefer
to keep them in your pants pocket until you choose to view them,
but you've got nothing to hide so why not wear them on your sleeve?
It doesn't matter really, because while you can choose from
"smart" replies, or program your own replies using your iPhone,
you're most likely going to dictate a response. A response Siri
won't understand making you repeat it over and over and louder and
louder until everyone knows your business.
Apple's
Watch will tell you if you've payed Golf, how many steps you've
taken, the miles, flights of stairs, and your heart-rate. It will
also tell you to stand up for one minute every hour. I can't wait
to go to a theater where people talk, text, and randomly stand up
for a minute.
Apple's
Watch has Maps. Apple suggests that you look up your destination on
your iPhone and then use the watch to get turn by turn instructions
from Siri. Your iPhone already does that, maybe a woman's voice
coming out of your pants telling you where to go is unsettling. I
gave Siri a male voice which doesn't help, especially when I look
down and talk back to him.
You
can aim Apple's Watch toward a "Contactless Reader" to
pay for things. Because swiping a credit card is too hard, and that
little chip thingy for security is unnecessary.
You
can even talk on it like a phone. Or a speaker for your iPhone
which I think already has one. As if people aren't rude enough with
their phones already, now we've got to hear both sides of the
argument. Great.
The
Watch, when more than a watch, is just a remote for your iPhone.
You need to have your iPhone within range. In your pocket, in the
car, or somewhere in the house., Apple says you've got 100 meters.
It's OK though since iPhones are approaching tablet size.
Don't
worry about the tiny screen size, you can always take your phone
out of your pocket to see what's going on. But it's been my
experience that if you want to stay out of trouble you should keep
it in your pants. That leaves us talking to Siri.
Since
ordering Apple's Watch I've really made an effort to get close to
Siri. I figure if he's going to be telling me where to go, and
talking to my wife, we should get on good terms. We just don't have
good chemistry.
Apple's
Watch comes in three flavors, Watch Sport, Watch, and Watch
Edition. Watch Sport runs $350 to $400 and is aluminum with a
plastic band. Watch is stainless steel and runs from $550 to $1,100
and you can still get a plastic band. Edition runs $10,000 to
$17,000. Yes, you can still get a plastic band.
Unfortunately
it doesn't end there. You can bet you'll have to upgrade your
iPhone as often as Apple wants in order to use their Watch. I had
to, so add another $800 to whatever watch you want.
The
biggest problem, at least for me, is having to charge it at least
once a day for at least two hours.
The
train left without you, you got caught sexting, your raucous
arguments are public, you're in debt, Siri hates you, and
your battery is dead, or not, that's your call, and that's Cocktail
Talk.
